Friday, July 3, 2009

Doing Dudes.

"How was book club?" the DNB greets me as I walk in the door.

"Awesome," I say.

He walks over to kiss my forehead and then takes a dramatic step back.

"WHY DO YOU SMELL LIKE DUDE?" he shouts.

"I don't?" I reply, confused.

"Were you doing dudes at book club?" he asks, peering at me.

Of the things we do NOT do at book club, as is often the case, the first is talk about the book and second is dudes.

"I'm pretty sure I wasn't. Maybe it's my shirt?"

He sniffs my shirt.

"No. But you definitely smell like DUDE."

"I don't know what to tell you. We even sat outside to eat, so I'm not sure why I'd smell like anything other than rampant B.O. Although that's a dude smell."

The DNB frowns at me.

And then it dawns on me. "Ohhhh, smell my armpit."

He actually obliges, which is totally weird if you're not married, and then nods. "Yep. That's it."

"It's dude DEODORANT," I explain. "The tanning salon was out of girl deodorant, so I had to use the dude one. It was supposed to be unscented."

"Well, when they make things unscented they should try to not make them smell like DUDE," the DNB retorts, satisfied.

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