Monday, June 15, 2009

The Second Worst Day of My Marriage, Part 1

After, of course, the first day of my honeymoon. Fortunately, both have less to do with the DNB's womanly ways and more to do with circumstance. Horrible, horrible circumstance.

We've rented a UHaul truck and hired three guys. It should all be over in four hours or so.

The DNB picks up the truck. Except that UHaul has "lost" our reservation. The DNB shows our confirmation email. More than an hour after our rental clock was supposed to start, the DNB parks in front of our house. When we open the back, he's pleasantly surprised.

"Oh, the guy must have included a dolly in the rental since they messed up our reservation," he says, naively optimistic as he tugs on the dolly. It doesn't budge.

Turns out, the dolly and a large bag of blankets have been affixed to the inside of the truck, mini-bar style. Break the seal and you'll owe UHaul an extra $10 or $15 dollars.


He's right. The dolly and the large bag of blankets are mounted in such a way that they cannot be moved, not even to find a more convenient spot for them as you don't use them.

P.S., UHaul: I paid for a full 24' truck. You owe me $1.12.

The guys we've hired show up promptly and we begin loading the truck. One guy works like a Freaking Maniac. He's carrying giant pieces of furniture on his back up and down stairs. He drops an air conditioner, but he was carrying two, so it's difficult to fault him. The leader of the bunch, Sheldon, packs the truck. The third, Sheldon's younger cousin ("Cuz"), spends a lot of his time answering his phone and explaining to no one in particular that he has a "bad shoulder."

Three hours in, it becomes apparent that we have WAY TOO MUCH STUFF. We cram what we can into the truck and take off for the new house. The DNB drives the truck, while the Freaking Maniac and Cuz ride shotgun.

And then he gets pulled over....

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