How early is too early?

In an effort to support his interest in high-quality shower gel products Manly Tool Habit, the DNB takes on extra shifts!

He is scheduled to work from 6am to 6pm every Saturday and Sunday in May. I would feel more terrible for him if it weren't entirely his decision.

And then, just before his first shift, he receives an email.

"Thank you for your willingness to assist . . . blah blah blah . . . we'll need you to come in just a bit early . . . blah blah . . . going to have a morning meeting, do this and that . . . so, yeah, we're going to need you to be in at 4am."

The DNB is shouting as he relates this to me that evening. "The email is all casual - come in a little early, no big deal then BAM! 4am."

"That's practically deceitful," I reply. I can barely fathom getting up in the 3am hour.

"The subject of the email should have been ASS RAPING. I would have been a little more prepared," he continues. A vein in his forehead appears.

He leans forward in his chair. "Here's how I determine whether I'm going to be up WAY TOO EFFING EARLY: fast food restaurants. If McDonald's isn't open, IT'S TOO EARLY. And guess what? McDonald's doesn't open until five."

"Some of them are open 24 hours," I point out, helpfully. "And no one's hungry right when they wake up."

He glares at me.

"4am," he says, poignantly.