Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Jump Around!

We watch Women's Basketball!

I personally care more about hula hoops than women's college hoops, but the DNB's team is in the Sweet Sixteen, so we cheer them on.

Until one of the commentators mentions a player's "One-Step Vertical." It's 36 inches.

"Three feet? WTF??" I exclaim. "I wonder how high I can jump."

I fly through the air, tucking my legs up under me.

"No good," the DNB comments dryly. "You pulled your legs up. You have to keep them straight." He gets up, to demonstrate.

"Okay, wait," I say. "I'll sit here and measure with my hand how high you jump."

He jumps. "Sweet! That's like 18 inches!" he shouts, looking at my hand. I don't tell him, but frankly I have no idea how high he jumped. I just kind of randomly moved my hand when he jumped.

"My turn!" I say.

He lays on the floor, practice-measuring one inch.

I stretch my legs and jump in place. Confident, I step forward and leap into the air.

"Three inches," the DNB declares, his hand barely off the carpet.

"WHATEVER," I say in a huff. "I did it wrong."

"Did it wrong?? How do you not know how to jump?" the DNB asks. "Did you miss that day in kindergarten?"

"NO," I reply. "It was before 'No Child Left Behind' and I GOT LEFT BEHIND."

"I bet our President AND a number of Special Olympians could jump higher than you."

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