Monday, March 23, 2009

I'm never cooking again.

I really, really wanted Cream of Wheat for breakfast this morning. Apparently these cravings don't come too often, because the box proclaimed itself "Best Before January 2008." Eh, I thought, and made it anyway.

I haven't had much luck in the kitchen recently. I managed to mess up Hamburger Helper, which, let's face it, takes a certain level of incompetence. The beef in the Beef Stroganoff I proudly prepared for the DNB ended up more like little strips of leather. Also, having never cooked mushrooms before, I didn't quite realize that they take HALF A DAY to cook down.

All that to say, I followed the Cream of Wheat directions impeccably. I took it from the microwave every 30 seconds and stirred it with a spoon I whittled from a baby rhino tusk.

And yet:


Life was so much simpler when I would just scavenge my kitchen for food. There's nothing to mess up when your dinner consists of of a slice of cheese, a bowl of cereal, and half an orange buried in the produce drawer.

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