Wednesday, January 7, 2009

S Begins Working Out.

I don't make new year's resolutions, so my Big Workout Program is just coincidentally timed. So far, I'm kicking its ass. And by "so far," I mean three days in. And by "kicking its ass," I mean it's kicking mine.

I thought that by joining the Y I could avoid those spandex-clad girls who exercise wearing full makeup. Did you ever notice how those girls NEVER SWEAT? They only glisten gently. When I work out my face turns bright red and I sweat like it's my job. Which sucks because I HATE sweating. I'm grossing myself out just thinking about it.

But apparently those Gentle Glisteners like a good value in fitness as well, because there's a fair number of them at the Y. Which I found moderately annoying, until I noticed the guy on the machine next to me. He kept looking over to check my speed and incline, which made me want to say, Dude, it's not a contest... but if it were, I'd obviously win because I've probably burned like a thousand calories already. And then he got off the machine. And I saw that he had SO MUCH BACK HAIR that it actually bushed up out of the top of his tank top and UP THE BACK OF HIS NECK. Sweaty back-creeping-neck hair is worse than any other type of sweat I could possibly have going on.

That pretty much offset a dozen Gentle Glisteners.

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