Monday, January 19, 2009

Onions Are The Devil.

I have what could be called strong adverse reactions to cutting and cooking onions. The fumes bother me so completely that I often have to take a shower when the DNB is cooking with them. To me, they're like the Giant Losers of the kitchen.

So when I make a recipe that needs onions, like really needs onions, I'm not sure what to do. I begin to slice, delicately, hoping that less agitation means less fumes. Not so. I open the back door and allow -15 degree arctic air to blast my face. I pour a bottle of AquaTears over my eyeballs. Nothing helps.

And then, I get a brilliant idea. I'm home alone, no one has to know. I open my swim bag and fish around. The perfect solution: goggles. Mine are mirrored so I look extra cool while I saute the Giant Losers. They work like an effing charm, and I'm so pleased with myself that I forget they're out on the counter when the DNB comes home.

"Um, what's with the goggles?" he asks.

"I may or may not have used them when cutting and cooking an onion," I say, vaguely.

He thinks better of making fun of me, mostly because he's met me before. And then, shopping online for something completely unrelated, I find these. And I totally feel ahead of my time. Or at least, on time with my time.


Work it.

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