Monday, January 12, 2009

I'm Looking for a New Beneficiary.

As background, let me tell you that last week we celebrated Bosnian Christmas. With Bosnians, obviously, not on our own. Anyway, the event is full of wonderful traditions, but one of the best was when we all drank the tiniest cups of coffee you've ever seen, let the grounds dry in the bottom, and then turned our cups upside down so the grounds formed interesting streaks and patterns along the side of the cups. And then you can't wash it, but you have to find someone who knows how to READ these streaks and patterns to tell your future.

So, today I'm going to meet with a kind of a random client in kind of a random place, and it's making me a little bit nervous.

"Are you going to get murdered?" the DNB asks.

"Maybe," I reply, shrugging. It's comforting how he plays on my fears. NOT.

"Well, good thing we opted for the million dollar life insurance policy," he says jovially, visions of a tricked out garage dancing in his head.

"Can I have a Louis Vuitton bag now, just in case I don't make it? You know how I've wanted one," I note.

"Sure you can have it," he replies, to my surprise. "IN YOUR COLD DEAD HANDS. Then I'm returning it."

"I can't hold it in my cold dead hands because I'm being cremated. Will you sprinkle some of my ashes in your coffee each morning as a tribute?"

"Hell no. But I'll put some of them in a cup and add some water and then turn it over to show the future. The future of WHO MY NEXT WIFE WILL BE."

"I'm totally haunting the both of you."

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