Wednesday, December 3, 2008

It Was But a Momentary Lapse.

My family sends a joint email to the DNB!

"Wow, gravy is everywhere," he messages me from his call room at the hospital.

"I have no idea what that is," I reply. I was totally confused by all the gravy references in the email. "Is that some joke I don't remember?"

"Dude??" he writes back. "The blog???"

"When did I talk about gravy?"

"OMG are you a retard?" I can feel his incredulity through our data lines, but I'm being genuine. And although I don't condone the use of the word "retard" as a pejorative term, I'm fairly certain the DNB meant it in one of its classic senses: my seeming intellectual disability manifested in my deficit of memory skills.

I run through my last few posts in my head. "Yes?"

"When I took gravy to work instead of chili?" He's typing quickly. "For lunch?"

"AAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA," I reply. "I totally forgot about that!"

"WTF, are you joking?" He is skeptical, and in all fairness to him, it's probably well-placed. I rarely forget anything, but especially not 1) all the things the DNB has done wrong ever or 2) embarrassing things that happen to other people.

"No, I'm not joking and that's hysterical. I'm glad you reminded me because that shit was FUNNY."

"OMG you ARE a tard." I can sense him rolling his eyes.

"YOU are."

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