Thursday, November 6, 2008

Northward, Part IV

We decide to watch a movie!

Except that our hotel doesn't offer Pay-Per-View, and there are no Blockbusters in town. So we try to find a Redbox. We don't know where the nearest location is, and the website keeps erroring on my phone.

"Most McDonald's have Redbox rentals, right?" I suggest. "So let's just find a McDonald's."

It seems easy enough. Google Maps tells us the closest one is 2.8 miles away.

On the way, we stop at a local grocery store. At the checkout, we try to confirm the McDonald's location.

"Oh no," the clerk cackles. "The closest McDonald's is 110 miles away."

We get back into the car. "Maybe she's right," the DNB says.

"Come on, who are you going to believe? Her or Google?" I reply. "She barely had any teeth!"

I apparently believe that people with bad teeth have no sense of their surrounding. So we set out, into the darkness and a driving rain.

We drive on and on, much father than 2.8 miles. None of the streets seem to match our directions. Somehow, we wind up back where we started.

"Just call," I suggest. "Ask an employee how to get there."

The DNB dials, and asks for directions from our location.

"Oh, phhhhhhhhhhhhhtt, that's gonna be a trip," says the teenager who answers. I watch the DNB as he listens. His eyes suddenly widen.

As it turns out, Google is dutifully leading us toward a McDonald's 5 HOURS NORTH. And the people who work there have never heard of Redbox.

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