Tuesday, November 18, 2008

I Will Probably Forego the Bisquick-Basted Turkey this Thanksgiving

I "cook!"

Two weekends ago, I had this crazy craving for Bisquick pancakes.

"I have this crazy craving for Bisquick pancakes," I suggested to the DNB as we stared into our cabinets, searching for breakfast.

"I do not eat Bisquick," the DNB replied haughtily, as if Bisquick is totally tacky. Because he was raised to cook his pancakes from scratch, made with home-ground buckwheat flour and the blood of tiny unicorns. Just kidding! They used the blood of regular-sized unicorns.

So this last weekend, because the DNB was blessedly absent hard at work, I decided to indulge my Tasteless Bisquick Self. I even made the "Supreme" version, with some extra sugar, baking powder, and vanilla. Ha, when I just read that back to myself, I said "vodka" instead of "vanilla," which would really have added a whole new dimension. A delicious, delicious dimension.

Anyway, so the Bisquick pancakes were HORRIBLE.

There were two or three that were totally uncooked in the center, which, trust me, was not user error. And the rest just, well, weren't that good, not even with the fake syrup I love many times more than the Real Maple variety.

Nothing's the same without unicorn blood.

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