Wednesday, August 13, 2008

The Reason I Will Be Watching "Honey, I Blew Up the Kid" Tomorrow

We sign up for an HBO promotion!

My ability to always cancel these kind of free deals just before we get charged is the primary benefit of my neurotic, Type A, obsessive personality. A close second is my use of conversation alone to make the DNB want to surgically remove his eardrums with a rusty scalpel.

And so now that I'm DVRing every B-list HBO movie for the next three months, I have to get rid of all the old stuff we have saved.

"'Is Colon Detox Hype?'" I read to the DNB. "Who recorded this?"

Internal cleaning has swept across America! the info section proudly declares.

"You probably did," the DNB says, as if he'd remember something that happened more than 22 seconds ago.

"Hmm. Maybe a burglar did it," I reply. I delete the mysterious listing, making room for Naked Gun.

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