Can You Get a Dog-Related Restraining Order?

"He's so soft and cuddly," the DNB comments, stroking Nahoa's silky ears.

"He really is," I agree.

"I could just . . . " the DNB pauses, searching for the right words. "I could just make a purse out of him," he concludes.

I sit up straight.

"You could . . . MAKE A PURSE. Out of our dog."

"Yeah," the DNB signs wistfully. "I'd just sew his ears together." He doesn't seem to realize how incredibly creepy that sounds as he walks off.

I grab Nahoa protectively. "No more alone time with Diddy," I whisper to him.