Baseball, Apple Pie, and Chips

I discuss a friend's clean lifestyle.

"Dude, you don't drink or smoke; you have no addictions. It's unreal," I say admiringly. "Do you have no vices?"

"Ohhh," he replies. "Oh I have vices."

"Like what?"

"Chips."

"Chips are not a vice."

"I can eat a whole bag in one sitting!" he exclaims.

"That is not a vice," I explain knowledgeably. "That's the American Way."