Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Couple Friends

If you thought you were done dating when you become part of a Couple, you're wrong. Because after the initial shenanigans are over and he's seen you without your makeup and she's smelled your raunchiest fart - just as you're getting comfortable being part of a Couple - you have to start looking for Couple Friends.

Couple Friends are important because Then No One Gets Left Out. Which, hypothetically speaking, means that I won't get a text every fifteen minutes from the DNB asking when I'm coming home from hanging out with my girlfriends because although he thought he would enjoy all that alone time he just ended up lonely, and could I also pick up Taco Bell for him on my way home.

The most difficult part about finding Couple Friends is that you and your significant other must both like your counterparts. If the girls click while the dudes don't, it's not the Couple for you. So then you keep looking, cautiously initiating dinner out or a trip to the local art festival. Then maybe you move things to a more personal level, like a barbecue at home and a few glasses of wine.

A few dates in, and you'll know whether they're the Couple Friends for you. You'll just know. But do they know how perfect you are for each other?

"She said, 'We'll see you soon,' did that mean they want to hang out with us again?" I ask the DNB.

"I don't know, I think so. Do you think they liked the food?" he wonders.

"I'm sure they did. How could they not? It was wonderful. The whole night was wonderful. We were wonderful!" I affirm.

"We were pretty wonderful. I tried to be funny. Was I funny or did it just seem like I was trying too hard to be funny?" he asks, worried.

"I thought you were hysterical," I tell him. "Should we call them? Let's call them. Is it too soon to call them?"

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