Wednesday, June 11, 2008

And Don't Forget My Black T-Shirt

And with this, I bid a (notso) fond farewell to Comcast.

You may recall the earlier issues I had with Comcast; shortly after I posted about them, a company representative got in contact with me to address the issues. And then disappeared without another word, faster than that one guy in Miami.

With my bill for cable, internet, and phone set to rise to $192 PER MONTH, a DVR which failed one too many times to record the DNB's "My Super Sweet Sixteen" marathon, and a user interface from the dark ages pre-Time Warner merge, I couldn't cancel fast enough. Instead, we switched to Minneapolis city internet and Dish Network. Our monthly bill is now $70 for the two combined. That difference is like an extra pair or two of shoes every month.

My $192 bill for June was sitting ominously amongst my paperwork, so I used the Comcast live chat feature to inquire about my obligations. See below the actual transcript of the conversation I had with a Comcast Customer Service Representative:

S > I turned in all of my equipment and cancelled my Comcast account on May 31. Please tell me whether I do/will owe anything further.

Comcast > Hello S, Thank you for contacting Comcast Live Chat Support. My name is [Apu Nahasapeemapetilon] [hypothetically]. Please give me one moment to review your information.

Comcast > I will be happy to assist you with your concern today. May I please have your account number?

S > i'm signing back in to get it

Comcast> Okay. Thank you.

S > ************

Comcast > Thank you for that information. Please hold on while I pull out your account.

[Pull it out? Of Comcast's ass?]

Comcast > Please hold on while I pull up the required information. I apologize for keeping you waiting.

Comcast > S, your account still shows a total balance of $192.18.

S > right, and that is incorrect

S> my statement shows that amount is billed for service 06/05/2008 to 07/04/2008

S > and since i turned in my equipment on 5/31, i should owe none of that

Comcast > S, you had your services cancelled effective May 31st, am I correct?

S > yes

[At this point, the way the representative kept using my name was getting really annoying. It felt patronizing. Like they're trying to convince my subconscious that I'm a Valued Customer, when, come on.]

Comcast > Okay. S, please hold on while I check further on your account.

Sharra > ok

Comcast > S, are you looking at your paper billing statement?

S > i'm looking online

S > but it's a statement dated May 25

S > which is why i need you to tell me if i need to do anything further about my account

Comcast > Okay. Comcast shows or sends in billing statements 1 month in advance. I have checked your account here for your future statement and it shows here that any excess to what you are going to pay this month will be credited to you. The credit will be mailed to you after 30 days upon the effectivity of the cancellation.

S > so i'm supposed to pay $192, and then 30 days later you're going to return $192 to me?

Comcast > There is still a pro-rated amount in it which the system is not showing, what I see here is a credit of about $150.

S > a credit off the $192?

Comcast > Yes, the amount of about $150 will be sent back to you through check in 30 days.

[Let's recap: this representative was telling me that I should pay $192 for services I didn't use. Then, 30 days later, they would give back $150 of it.]

S > the problem is, that doesn't make sense

S > because the $192 is advance billing for the month of june

S > but i turned in my equipment and cancelled my account BEFORE june

S > so i should owe nothing on the statement dated may 25

Comcast > S, what the account is showing me right now is the balance which was already updated before the next billing cycle and after you cancelled the services. It means that any adjustments has not been updated yet as it will appear on the next billing cycle.

[So Customer Service Representatives can't see the current status of the account - the status at the moment you contact them? I'm no live chat rep here, but THAT DOESN'T SEEM RIGHT. Also, stop using my name.]

S > Ok, but I don't want to give Comcast $192 to hang on to for 30 days, when I cancelled before I actually incurred those charges

S > so if I don't pay $192, what happens?

Comcast > I understand, S. However, if you do not settle the amount, Comcast may still charge you with an unpaid balance. I suggest that you settle the amount and have the adjusted amount be credited to you.


S > which would be the entire $192, correct?

Comcast > That is correct, S.

[So now the credit is $192, not $150]

S > Ok, I will need to talk with someone who can insure that I do not charged with an unpaid balance. Is a supervisor available, please?

S > There is no way I'm giving Comcast $192 to earn interest on when they are just going to return it to me later.

Comcast > S, I understand your concern, however, if you wish to speak with someone, please contact 1-800-COMCAST and request to be connected to the customer service, billing department supervisor for assistance, or you may contact your local office, will that be okay with you?

S > Yes, I'll call right now.

Comcast > Is there anything else I can assist you with today?

S > No, thank you.

Comcast > You are welcome.

Comcast > I have already noted your account and they will be expecting a call form you anytime.

Comcast > Thank you for choosing Comcast. We appreciate doing business with you. If you need assistance in the future, please do not hesitate to contact us through Chat, E-Mail, or Comcast Hotline. We are here for you 24 hours a day. Comcast also offers excellent FAQ and help forums located at
Have a great day!

[I didn't choose Comcast. I cancelled Comcast. Comcast sucks.]

Comcast > Analyst has closed chat and left the room

1 comment:

Amber said...

I never paid attention to the headline the first time I read this. Clever!