Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Taaaaaap it in

I take golf lessons!

I gather with the other students. They have brought their shiny, unused clubs with them. They wear visors and polo shirts. I have opted for flip flops.

"YOU WORE FLIP FLOPS?!" the DNB shrieks, later.

"Well, I didn't know. I thought we'd be in a classroom or something, starting with a textbook or a chalkboard. I didn't know we'd be playing the very first day, sheesh," I reply.

The instructor asks what kind of golf experience we've each had. Two years, one woman says. Three years, replies another. "Miniature?" I say. This is not going to go well.

He gives me very little feedback during the lesson; it borders on ignoring me completely. I assume this is because I am already doing everything so correctly. I always was a quick learner.

At the end of an hour, I've managed to pop a blood vessel in my right hand. Muscles are tired that I didn't know I had. It is small consolation that my grip is good.

"You need to get a glove," the woman next to me suggests.

I gaze down the row of golfers at the driving range. Everyone is wearing one. Of course, that's what I'm lacking! It's probably totally messing up my swing.

So I buy a glove, and when I get home I wear it around the house for a little bit pretty much the entire day and DUDE, I totally look legit now. I'm all, here's me getting the mail wearing my Fancy Golf Glove. And now I'm typing a blog post, and I think the Fancy Golf Glove may even be helping me type faster and with better form. Here's me moonwalking while wearing my Fancy Golf Glove.

It is so on at my lesson tonight.

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