Wednesday, May 28, 2008

A Public Service Announcement

My merge-related indignation is misplaced!

According to this article from the Star Tribune, when a construction zone causes a road to narrow, drivers should use the "Zipper Merge" to reduce traffic and delays. Using the Zipper Merge, as explained by the Minnesota Department of Transportation, means that "drivers should use both lanes all the way to the designated merge point and then take turns merging." And in case you still aren't sure what that might look like, because maybe you aren't entirely familiar with zippers, here's a video demo.

Let's just pause to recognize that this is not what we were taught in grade school.

If you aren't familiar with the merge method, perhaps you know it as the Dynamic Late Merge System? Anyone? It's been around since 2004, with Minnesota one of the first states to adopt it. Apparently MNDOT occasionally puts out signs directing motorists to use the system, but I've sure never seen one.

Instead, I sit with clenched fists, muttering obscenities at the drivers zooming past, pushing their way into line at the last minute. NO CUTS NO BUTTS NO COCONUTS, bitches. I find it incredibly unfortunate that those douche bags who wait until the last second to merge are, actually, doing what they're supposed to. If you do too, your indignation may take solace in the fact that superior knowledge of traffic merging systems is clearly not why they do it.

So, drive carefully. Zipper Merge. Don't be a douche bag.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Maybe it's just me, but the Zipper Merge looked even messier than a regular merge. I don't really understand what's happening there!