Wednesday, April 30, 2008

An Open Letter to People We Know, or Even Don't, Who are Having Babies

Mmm-kay. I'm gonna need you to go ahead and CUT THAT OUT. Because when you people have babies, this sappy bowl of sappiness I have for a husband gets all nostalgic and starts knitting booties and frankly it's getting to be a little much.

I can't keep a houseplant alive, and we have owned fish that died THE VERY DAY WE GOT THEM. Really, I'm not the nurturing type. I attribute the Buds' continuing existence to the fact that they come from that hardy Bichon stock and have learned to drag their bowl around the kitchen when they need it filled with water.

So as soon as you can, you know, stop with all that, it'd be great. Because if the DNB looks over at me tenderly during another birthing scene in a movie I'm going to have to go out and purchase that Pottery Barn crib just to call his bluff.

Big hugs,
Auntie S


Anonymous said...

Hey - you make me laugh. Thanks for your sense of humor. So, what happens if in the next 3 years you become an Auntie for real?? Will that freak you out?

S said...