Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Deep Thoughts By Someone Other Than Jack Handy

The thing is, I love company in the shower. I'm not talking about soap and frolicking and things in places, because let's face it, the DNB's mother is such a faithful reader that I no longer have anything to talk to her about.

No, it's about company. Someone to talk to. I do a lot of thinking in the shower, and sometimes in this vast, lonely world it's nice to share, you cynical bastards.

"Diiiiiiiiiddddddddddyyyyyyyyyyy!" I shout from the shower.*

I pause, waiting.

"DIIIDDDDDDDDDDDYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!" I try again.

Finally, the bathroom door swings open. "WHAT?" the DNB demands in all caps.

"Well, I was thinking," I begin. "You know when you go into a public restroom and someone is going number two in there?"

The door slams shut.

"Baby?" I ask into the emptiness.


* Yes, Diddy. Not as in P-, but as in how I anthropomorphize our hyperactive Buds referring to the DNB.

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