Tuesday, August 21, 2007

This is What Discrimination Breeds

I find new ways to antagonize the DNB!

He hates orange-flavored Starbursts. I love them, so usually this would present only a happy harmony of Starburst-induced sugar highs. But you know me, I can't leave it at that.

Ever since he discovered a largely untouched bag of the things in the kitchen, he's been eating them non-stop. As he works his way through the bag, he carefully separates the orange ones, placing them in a pile in one of the kitchen cabinets. His goal is a Starburst Utopia wherein he no longer has to check for the Bad Flavor when he pulls out his handfuls.

When he leaves for work one day, I empty the Starburst bag of the cherry, strawberry, and lemon candies and hide them away. A little wave of childish glee washes over me as I fill the bag with all of the discarded oranges, twisting the top and replacing it in the candy basket.

That night, the DNB reaches into the basket and fishes out the Starburst bag. He pulls out an orange, frowns, and sets it aside. He reaches in and again pulls out an orange. He peers into the bag and shakes it around.

I step around the corner so he won't see me giggling.

"Dammit baby!" He stalks off, probably to fluff his personalized pillows.

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