Monday, August 13, 2007

S Grocery Shops in Her Unmentionables

There is a knock at the door!

It is the Lunds & Byerly's delivery man, and he is bringing me my groceries. You needn't have been in a close personal relationship with me to know how much I hate grocery shopping. It's right up there with eating olives and being bitten. Of course, the real reason we had to leave Indianapolis was that no one there would bring me my groceries! And believe me, I checked.

The prices are the same as the regular grocery store, but there is a small delivery fee (no gratuities accepted). For me, the cost-benefit analysis plays out something like this: a trip to Lunds requires me to actually drive through Twin Cities traffic (ack), wander the aisles trying to find where the bruschetta is hidden, deal with the Ridiculously Slow Cart Pushers Who Block Entire Aisles Without Thought, wait in long check-out lines, and make a separate stop at the Super Skeeztastic Liquor Store*. Home delivery, on the other hand, costs $6.95, I can direct my personal shopper as to the specifics of my grocery needs ("My husband won't use anything other than the top-of-the-line butt-rash cream, so please don't substitute for generic"), I don't have to carry anything heavy, and, oh, they will bring me alcohol, too.

I think we're all in agreement here.

* What is truly amazing about this website is that it in no way imparts how junky this place really is. The DNB remarked the other day that he's never sure during any trip through the parking lot that he won't be either shot or run over. And that's just the outside.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

um, I MUST get one of these. Dear Indianapolis grocers, please consult with Minneapolis grocers and arrange it so that I never have to leave my house again. Thanks so much. Sincerely, Molly