Wednesday, July 18, 2007

S Takes On the DNB's Metrosexuality with His Not Entirely Explicit Permission

Apparently, a magazine for gay men in the UK has a feature where they award "Gay Points" to straight men. According to Ricky Gervais,* as seen on Kathy Griffin's** My Life on the D-List, he was awarded 75 Gay Points straight off the bat for having a bottle of champagne in his refrigerator given to him by George Michael.

So because the DNB is working late and can't defend himself, and because I just wrote two practice essays on Income & Gift Taxes and need a laugh, let's see how he comes out, so to speak.

The DNB's Running Gay Points Tally:

+ 50 for knowing the difference between serum, toner, and exfoliator
- 25 for wearing a black belt with brown shoes (before me, people, BEFORE me)
+ 30 for screaming "Fuck!" during a scary scene in What Lies Beneath
- 35 for endlessly quoting The Big Lebowski and The Bob & Tom Show
+ 20 for driving a teal colored car
- 5 because the car was not a convertible
+ 55 for watching "So You Think You Can Dance" by himself
+ 10 additional for having an articulable opinion on each of the dancers
- 15 for not owning any leather trousers
+ 25 for having his eyebrows threaded
- 20 because I talked him into it
+ 70 for having a piercing below the neck
- 30 for never spending more than $20 on a pair of pants
+ 40 for preferring skin care products from specialty stores
- 25 for not liking Wheatgrass
+ 10,000 for the pose that follows
+ 2,000 additional because he set up the camera, himself, on auto-timer
+ another 5,000 because he took multiple shots trying to get the perfect pose

* I love this man. Seriously. Is he married?
** I also love this woman. She's in my New Top 3.


Anonymous said...

I find myself not surprised by any of this-- with the possible exception of the "no leather trousers" thing. Seriously, darling, he needs some o' dat.

S said...

Well, there's always Christmas!

Kyle said...

You need to tell the DNB's sexy arse to return my calls! :) When's the big test day?

S said...

Duly noted. July 24-25.