Tuesday, July 3, 2007

An IM Conversation, with Edits, for Context

The DNB and I have taken to talking via the internet on occasion. That way, we can watch some of our favorite shows simultaneously and comment viciously, as we do, while multi-tasking.

It's all very "Somewhere Out There" for the modern era.

Last night's conversation did not center around a shared television experience, but rather the DNB's foray into watching nerdy History Channel shows while he has no wife around to foist MTV on him instead. Although don't let him fool you into thinking that he didn't watch "So You Think You Can Dance" by himself, alone in Minneapolis, of his own accord.

The DNB: I just found a cool show
The DNB: "Tank Overhaul"
The DNB: they're restoring a Sherman tank
Me: yeah
Me: i would hate that show

[Ed: as indicated, the DNB and I have EXACT OPPOSITE taste in television. Some of you may have guessed as much. If you've met either of us. Ever. I prefer good old reality TV, like "Gene Simmons Family Jewels" or "Run's House," both brilliant shows about functional families who don't have to be rude or high to be hysterically funny. The DNB, on the other hand, lives for re-runs of "M*A*S*H" and gets butterflies in his stomach when he encounters a "Mythbusters" episode he hasn't seen. There's not much common ground.]

The DNB: so, I want an M1A2 Abrams tank

[Ed: according to a random website I found when I googled the tank, "The main armament is the 120mm M256 smoothbore gun, developed by Rheinmetall Waffe Munition GmbH of Germany. The 120mm gun fires the following ammunition: the M865 TPCSDS-T and M831 TP-T training rounds, the M8300 HEAT-MP-T and the M829 APFSDS-T which includes a depleted uranium penetrator. Textron Systems provides the Cadillac Gage gun turret drive stabilisation system." Ah yes.]

Me: oh geez
The DNB: it is bad ass
Me: baby
Me: what's the rule?

[Ed: there are a few hard and fast rules we live by. Among them is, of course, no farting in bed, at the dinner table, or in the car. Another is no one likes a sweaty, hairy bride. Although that one's not a rule as much as words to live by.]

The DNB: ummm
The DNB: to not buy tanks?
Me: right
Me: because why
The DNB: because I don't need one
Me: no
Me: because it'll put hair on your palms

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