Tuesday, June 26, 2007

One of these things just doesn't belong

Milton rings the doorbell!

He's here to deliver a package. When I open the door and greet him, he gives me his usual hug and asks how the studying is going.

When I tell him the studying is going alright, but that I'm tired of it, he tells me that I have to persevere. "I go home every day and work on my house. I've been building it for four years."

"What? You're building a house? Yourself?" I ask. I had it in my head that he wouldn't be that handy.

"Wait right here," he directs and runs around the corner. I have a fleeting hope that he isn't collecting 5-10 of his most thuggish friends to pillage LSB's property.

Five minutes later he reappears, out of breath. He's traded his mailbag for a stack of CVS photo envelopes. He comes in and begins spreading pictures all over the kitchen table.

"I bought this house for $28,000," he says proudly. It was a hellhole, to put it nicely, before. I'm shocked at his "after" pictures. He's completely rewired it, added large windows, redone the hardwood floors, built a staircase, added a second floor, and on and on.

"It's amazing," I say, admiringly. It really is.

"And, I special ordered two giant, seven-foot clawfoot bathtubs for the bathrooms. That way," he giggles, leaning down to gesture at my feet, "we can get in together and play with each other's toes."

I cross my arms, suddenly self-conscious.


Anonymous said...

um..... wow.

Kyle said...

I thought this dude was creepy at first, now I'm thinking restraining order :)

S said...

I just can't figure him out. I'm going to have to just ask about the gay thing to end all this rampant speculation. If he is, there's a chance I could take him, even though he's got 4 years of hard construction labor under his belt.

Kyle said...

gay postal worker/construction worker....sounds like the village people