Sunday, April 15, 2007

Pillow Talk

I find new ways to antagonize the DNB!

He is very particular about his pillows. They must not be too flat, nor too firm, nor too fluffy, nor too squishy. Some people view this as a touch OCD. I view it as opportunity.

I regularly switch the DNB's selected pillows with mine, since he has confiscated the best of the bunch. Finally fed up, he grabs them back and writes his initials on them in permament marker. "There," he announces proudly.

I wait until he goes to the bathroom in the middle of night, toss his pillows across the room, and replace them with the flat, lame pillows from our shams. He feels his way back into the darkened room and lays down. Five minutes pass while I pretend to be asleep.

"BABY!" he suddenly shouts and whacks me in the head with one of them.

The next afternoon, I take his carefully marked pillows and turn them around in their cases, so the initials are hidden, and then place them on his side.

That night, he makes a big production of checking each of his pillows. Not seeing his initials, he shouts again at me and grabs mine from under my head, convinced that I must have them. But there are no initials on mine either. He is puzzled, but feels them all carefully before trading one of his for one of mine. He positions his two chosen pillows and alternatingly fluffs and pounds on them until his sleeping arrangements are once again perfect.

I shake silently, laughing into his pillow.

No comments: